.jpg)
Living in Italy has made me realize what a broad range of different stresses effect people. I first made this realization when I was speaking to an Italian friend and he said, “It must be so much less stressful in America than here. Everything is so fast-paced here.” When he said that, I did a double take and said, “What? It should be so much less stressful here and life goes slower and more calmly here that you get to enjoy life. You get to sit in a bar and people watch. We are all over the place in America.” That’s when I started thinking about how interesting it was that Italians had the same conception of Americans as we did them. Living in one place, we often look at other faraway places and just dream of how wonderful it would be to live there and how much more appealing it looks. We see the vacation spots, and the beautiful scenery, and the food and other products we don’t have here. We only look at the good, whereas, we are quick to judge our own living quarters since we know it so well. The phrase, “the grass is greener on the other side”, could not be any more accurate in our mentalities.
Back in the states, I had many different kinds of stresses. It went from major stresses to frivolous ones – work, traffic, deadlines, family, bills, what to wear, where to eat, chores, etc. Some of them effected me much worse than others. And then there were those that I learned to change into advantages. I learned to cope with the traffic to work and took the two to two and half hours I was in traffic going and coming from work as my “alone” time. Instead of swearing at the traffic and trying to figure out what was the hold up, I realized that wasn’t going to get me from point A to point B any quicker. So instead, I enjoyed the music playing in my car, caught up with a friend on the phone, and just took the time to be by myself. However, traffic is a major stress for many, especially in LA, and people deal and react to it differently.
Here in Italy, it’s the same thing. There are people here who have to work and pay the bills and care for the family just like in the States. We tend to remove those factors when we think about vacations and incorrectly stereotype people. I think the one difference that I do see in the stresses between America and Italy, is that Americans are definitely more career driven and competitive. We constantly have to gain more experiences to stay at the top of the game and have to manage to stay at the top once we get there. Once we do, we still tend to keep our options open, waiting for the next big thing to hop on and jobs are much more dispensable to us. (Today’s market may be an exception with the economic crisis). As for Italians, the job market isn’t as competitive but there also aren’t as many opportunities. So in their case, it’s more about finding a job that is secure and staying there. There isn’t that drive to constantly look for something better and get a better salary. If you have a job, you thank god for it and stay there for as long as you can. Hence, whereas the stress of continuously finding a better job is prominent in Americans, Italians appreciate the job they have and are grateful for not having the stress of unemployment.
I think one thing that really stresses Italians out more so than Americans is the government and communal structures. Their city halls and other government offices lack organization, rules, and consistent order of procedures. Having to experience this first hand, primarily with getting my paperwork done to get married here, and then with getting my Permesso di Soggiorno, I was bounced back and forth among a couple different offices. Everyone had their own instructions and told me different things. It was extremely difficult to get concrete and reliable information. And most of all, good luck catching them during their office hours. Each office had odd office hours, almost like the doctor’s hours here, where it wasn’t just straightforwardly Monday through Friday from 9am-5pm but varied and would be open two or three days a week at odd, non-continuous hours. With this matter, the Italians definitely have more stress. I respect the fact that we are much more by the books in America and although there may be a congestion of people in line to get paperwork done, at least our offices are actually open and we know exactly what we have to do and where to go.
Thinking about my own life here in Italy, I have never been less stressed. I am fortunate enough to have a safe and secure life here with not much to worry about. It almost makes me worry about going back to the States and if I will have to end up re-adjusting back there! Part of me loves the fact that I was able to handle the stresses that LA gave me. I don’t want to lose that part of me. Then, just these past couple of days, I have had this huge issue with spider mites that have invaded my balcony plants. Now, this does not seem like some life-threatening, end of the world problem, but it has stressed me out! Like I said, there is broad range of different stresses that effect people. I despise insects… I would rather come across a rat than a spider. And so these spider mites are totally stressing me out and I thought to myself – oh my gosh, what has come of me that I don’t have the normal stresses I use to have and now I have this frivolous, domestic stress?
And although I have left all my old stresses, I did take on the new one of adjusting in this foreign country where I have became the minority. Asians are still considered a minority in the States and California, but since LA is such the melting pot, it definitely did not feel that way and I loved the way all cultures intermixed. Not so much the case here. Whereas some may enjoy being different and standing out, I do not. I like to blend in and not draw attention. I think that’s one thing I miss about LA. I could go about my business on the streets without worrying that I had a million eyes on me and wondering who I was. I didn’t have to feel self-conscious about myself because most of the time, everyone was in their own world and too busy to really wonder about anyone else. Here, it is difficult to walk down the street without someone just hanging around outside of their house, or sitting outside of the bar specifically “people-watching.” If anyone has a quick remedy for me to relieve this stress of mine, please share!
Everything is subjective, everything is relative. I think the important thing to remember is the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s just different. Whether it is different in a good way or a bad way, we have to confront the stresses we have and take them one at a time and know that we are not alone. It’s what makes us stronger if we deal with them and you always have to keep in mind that you need to appreciate what you do have through this spectrum of stress we ride.
Back in the states, I had many different kinds of stresses. It went from major stresses to frivolous ones – work, traffic, deadlines, family, bills, what to wear, where to eat, chores, etc. Some of them effected me much worse than others. And then there were those that I learned to change into advantages. I learned to cope with the traffic to work and took the two to two and half hours I was in traffic going and coming from work as my “alone” time. Instead of swearing at the traffic and trying to figure out what was the hold up, I realized that wasn’t going to get me from point A to point B any quicker. So instead, I enjoyed the music playing in my car, caught up with a friend on the phone, and just took the time to be by myself. However, traffic is a major stress for many, especially in LA, and people deal and react to it differently.
Here in Italy, it’s the same thing. There are people here who have to work and pay the bills and care for the family just like in the States. We tend to remove those factors when we think about vacations and incorrectly stereotype people. I think the one difference that I do see in the stresses between America and Italy, is that Americans are definitely more career driven and competitive. We constantly have to gain more experiences to stay at the top of the game and have to manage to stay at the top once we get there. Once we do, we still tend to keep our options open, waiting for the next big thing to hop on and jobs are much more dispensable to us. (Today’s market may be an exception with the economic crisis). As for Italians, the job market isn’t as competitive but there also aren’t as many opportunities. So in their case, it’s more about finding a job that is secure and staying there. There isn’t that drive to constantly look for something better and get a better salary. If you have a job, you thank god for it and stay there for as long as you can. Hence, whereas the stress of continuously finding a better job is prominent in Americans, Italians appreciate the job they have and are grateful for not having the stress of unemployment.
I think one thing that really stresses Italians out more so than Americans is the government and communal structures. Their city halls and other government offices lack organization, rules, and consistent order of procedures. Having to experience this first hand, primarily with getting my paperwork done to get married here, and then with getting my Permesso di Soggiorno, I was bounced back and forth among a couple different offices. Everyone had their own instructions and told me different things. It was extremely difficult to get concrete and reliable information. And most of all, good luck catching them during their office hours. Each office had odd office hours, almost like the doctor’s hours here, where it wasn’t just straightforwardly Monday through Friday from 9am-5pm but varied and would be open two or three days a week at odd, non-continuous hours. With this matter, the Italians definitely have more stress. I respect the fact that we are much more by the books in America and although there may be a congestion of people in line to get paperwork done, at least our offices are actually open and we know exactly what we have to do and where to go.
Thinking about my own life here in Italy, I have never been less stressed. I am fortunate enough to have a safe and secure life here with not much to worry about. It almost makes me worry about going back to the States and if I will have to end up re-adjusting back there! Part of me loves the fact that I was able to handle the stresses that LA gave me. I don’t want to lose that part of me. Then, just these past couple of days, I have had this huge issue with spider mites that have invaded my balcony plants. Now, this does not seem like some life-threatening, end of the world problem, but it has stressed me out! Like I said, there is broad range of different stresses that effect people. I despise insects… I would rather come across a rat than a spider. And so these spider mites are totally stressing me out and I thought to myself – oh my gosh, what has come of me that I don’t have the normal stresses I use to have and now I have this frivolous, domestic stress?
And although I have left all my old stresses, I did take on the new one of adjusting in this foreign country where I have became the minority. Asians are still considered a minority in the States and California, but since LA is such the melting pot, it definitely did not feel that way and I loved the way all cultures intermixed. Not so much the case here. Whereas some may enjoy being different and standing out, I do not. I like to blend in and not draw attention. I think that’s one thing I miss about LA. I could go about my business on the streets without worrying that I had a million eyes on me and wondering who I was. I didn’t have to feel self-conscious about myself because most of the time, everyone was in their own world and too busy to really wonder about anyone else. Here, it is difficult to walk down the street without someone just hanging around outside of their house, or sitting outside of the bar specifically “people-watching.” If anyone has a quick remedy for me to relieve this stress of mine, please share!
Everything is subjective, everything is relative. I think the important thing to remember is the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s just different. Whether it is different in a good way or a bad way, we have to confront the stresses we have and take them one at a time and know that we are not alone. It’s what makes us stronger if we deal with them and you always have to keep in mind that you need to appreciate what you do have through this spectrum of stress we ride.
No comments:
Post a Comment