Since the time that I moved to Italy, I have had a struggle with falling into the "traditional" woman's role of housewife. For so long, I have been this independent woman who focused on my career and success. Having worked for as long as I can remember even throughout middle school, high school and college, it was only normal that I became a workaholic and felt fulfilled and accomplished with having a job.
It was scary leaving the workfield. I didn't want to think that I was losing myself or changing myself when I worked so hard to get to where I am and thought I had found myself already. Little did I know that I have barely scratched the surface of fully finding myself. But in reality, I don't think we really do until we pass through all the milestones of our lives. Once I got to Italy, I was determined to find a job. I didn't want to be a housewife and I needed to know that I had my own career as well. That I was contributing to our family income and bringing home the bacon as well. My husband was extremely understanding. He comforted me and assured me that we were fine financially and I didn't need to work. But, he also understood my "need" to work and was completely supportive of my job search.
Then there was his family, the traditional good old Italian family. His mom would always say that I was lucky that we had one salary and that was sufficient and that the man is meant to go out to work everyday and the woman's work is in the house. She actually was trying to assure me that a job was not necessary. I saw where she was coming from, but this is where the culture and generation gap finally clashed.
I believe that my more simple life here has really helped my stress levels and has stopped me from being overloaded back in LA. I have learned how to relax and "enjoy life". However, I still find it difficult to sit too long outside with the girls and just chit chat and people watch. I feel like I have to do something productive or my day was "wasted". Do you see how troubled I am?
Okay, getting on to my point... last year, I finally created my own online design business doing invitations and freelance design. It has been one of my biggest dreams and I made it come true! It couldn't have been a better time to do it with my newly liberated schedule and the search to continue my career. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to be keeping busy and making my days productive.
On top of that, I am still the housewife. I think that back in the States, or back where I live, it is common to have a negative connotation of a housewife. Especially with the high cost of living, it is necessary for the wife and the husband to have a job to be able to live comfortably. I have finally learned that it shouldn't be frowned upon. Now, this is said with a grain of salt. My mother-in-law was correct, being a housewife is a full-time job. There is so much that can be done in the home between cooking and cleaning. It's not a walk in the park if you realize how much can be done in the house.
In my case, I have pushed myself to gain success in the house as well. There is a different satisfaction that I get when I clean the house and see it spotless and when I make a yummy home-made meal. The fulfillment of being productive in the house as well and having your husband come home with such appreciation is priceless. I definitely don't miss the days of coming home from work as well and being grouchy from sitting in traffic and too exhausted to cook.
Anyways, do not misinterpret my words. I believe I am still a true feminist. Which takes me to my final point. Women can do everything! We are strong and are able to multi-task, but we are also affectionate and loving. We can be in the workplace but we can be at home and be the care takers as well. We aren't women in a man's world, the men live in our world. The men live in our world that we have made nice, cozy, and clean home. ;) Whatever you choose to do, do it with heart and with passion and you will find fulfillment.
There is such a thing as spreading yourself too thin, but I am determined to juggle both worlds and do it well. So to all my productive housewives who manage their homes, to my successful career women who can bring home the bucks as well, and for every beautiful, strong, intelligent woman who makes this world a better place... cheers to you! Don't change a thing and love you for who you are.
