Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Roller Coaster of Emotions

Okay, so this is for all you lady expats who are also Sex and the City fans. =) They show Sex and the City reruns everyday here on Sky (the cable company), and even though I have the whole series on DVD (thanks to my close friend Melissa *muah*) I still watch it every time it comes on! I swear I have watched each episode a hundred times and will never get sick of it. Anyways, I just watched one of the last episodes of the series, where Carrie goes to Paris with Aleksandr. I can’t believe how this episode has changed to me every time I watched it. The first time I watched it I was still in LA and already emotional watching it and so sad the series was ending. Now, I watch it and I can totally relate to Carrie finding difficulty in a new city as I’m sure a lot of you will as well. (Sidenote: I know it’s really cheesy that I am relating to something fictional but having American shows to watch here is sometimes just the dose of home I need =)).

She steps her foot in Paris and is ecstatic of this romantic city. Then is lonely and waiting for Aleksandr. Then decides to go out on the town on her own only to trip and fall and have everyone stare at her. Then walks past a restaurant window and sees four girls laughing away together. Then she calls up Miranda to vent and says that she misses them but stops herself and thinks she’s crazy for complaining about being in Paris. Then Miranda keeps saying “come home” when they are on the phone. Does this sound at all familiar? Anyone going to a foreign country to live for a period of time goes through this. It is a roller coaster of emotions and don’t let anyone say that you are crazy for being sad in an amazing city.

Sure it is a great adventure and an experience of a lifetime, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are placed outside of your comfort zone and away from your loved ones. I am extremely happy here and am grateful for what I have but it does not change the fact that I miss my family and friends dearly. I miss my Sunday family days with my family where we all get together at the house and just hang out. I miss going out with my girlfriends and laughing and talking all through the night. Never stop yourself from feeling these emotions. This is what will make your relationships stronger and help you really appreciate everything you have, near and afar. The reason why people grow when they move out of their comfort zone is because it does put life into perspective. Often, you can find yourself the easiest when you aren’t around people that you are always around. Just don’t lose yourself or ever try to blend in, love you for who YOU are, not for what you think others will “accept”.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you exactly how to adjust in a foreign city as I am still trying to as well. I can tell you that the braver you are and the more you go out and explore, the more you will grow and get out of it. At first I was even scared to walk outside in this little town by myself or go to the mini mart because I hated people staring and I was afraid I wouldn’t say something correctly. However, I pushed myself to do it and things have gotten much better. People know me now and are friendly and chat with me. The smiles and salutations I get everyday are a great jumpstart to my day… when I think about it, I don’t even get that back in L.A. I am so consumed in getting from point A to point B and getting what I need done, that when would we ever say hi to someone we have never spoken to on the street? I know I have never said hi to someone unless I knew them or they worked at the store in L.A., but if I did, they would probably just think I am crazy or got the wrong person.

There will always be the good days and the bad days, the days where you miss home more and the days where you are having the time of your life. But it’s about confronting each day at a time and being able to make the effort to smell the flowers. And, if you have time to sit and reflect and miss home, then that definitely means you have time to look out the window and smell the flowers. =) We are only human, and where ever we are today, it’s about getting through the day to lead us to whatever happiness awaits us in the future.

No comments:

Post a Comment